The death of Eddie, inventor of "tire" and "postal service"

His friend Troy, inventor of "fire" and "fire safety," saw it all.  Unfortunately the only warning that came to Troy's mind was "Stop, Drop, and Roll," but like anything out of Troy's mouth it came out as "hugg . . .  hugg . . . hugg. . . "  

Later that evening Troy invented "drinking goat water to excess" and "clubbing oneself over the head until unconscious." He was never the same affectionate bon vivant again.